Healthy Relationships: Dealing with Control Freaks

Let’s face it, not all relationships are healthy. Some relationships are unavoidable professionally, whereas others with family can be navigated through more deliberately.

If you have a control freak in your life, here are some quick secrets for keeping your sanity and breaking the control freak’s stranglehold on you.

1. Be calm and don’t react.

The control freak usually thrives on tension, drama, and creating urgent scenarios to throw you in a state of emotional chaos. This is where they get the upper hand and make themself needed.

Be calm, quiet, and don’t react. Listen and move slowly on purpose…as you do you may further aggravate the control freak. Good! What is in their heart will eventually come out of their mouth, revealing their true motivation and intent.

2. Listen to the words not the emotion.

When you hear a control freak speak, listen to their words not their emotion. Gauge the intelligence and validity of what they are saying. If there is no credibility or validity behind what they are saying, drop it and move on. Often control freaks are illogical and given to panic. They live in a world of fear, suspicion and accusation.

Control freaks feed on drama. Don’t play into it. Listen to their words and locate where they are (or perceive themselves to be). Many control freaks (perhaps most) are painfully clueless and not self-aware.

Be aware of who you are dealing with.

3. Intelligently say no and walk away.

When control freaks true colors are revealed and you see their drama for what it is, drop the game(s) on the spot and move on. If the control freak cannot recognize the error of their ways, move on without explaining to them why you are abandoning them.

People are either assets or liabilities. Until a control freak discovers the error of their ways, they shall continue to irritate and alienate people. Guard your heart and don’t feel bad for protecting your time and life. Don’t let control freaks waste your time and divert your focus.

www.PaulFDavis.com worldwide speaker and author of Healthy Relationships

Invite Paul to speak in your city! RevivingNations@yahoo.com

Advertisement

Healthy Relationships – Don’t Be a Bulldozer

Have you ever met a bulldozer? I mean a domineering personality type who tried to get their way and bulldoze you over? Have you ever been a bulldozer to somebody else? I’m sure if you are like me, you can answer yes to both of those questions.

Remember how it feels to be bulldozed over by another person. You feel a bit violated, disrespected, ignored, and dehumanized. It is not a very nice feeling, nor does it endear you to the person (the rough bulldozer kind of individual).

Yet think back to the times you have been a bulldozer. Perhaps you were ploughing ahead trying to meet a deadline, to pay the bills, to pick up the kids from school, to get to a social function (or church) when you were running late, or to try to get to work on time. The possibilities are endless.

Therefore the next time somebody bulldozes over you, gently mention it and call them on it. Say, “Hey, do you realize what a bulldozer you are being? You might want to rethink your approach to life before somebody gets hurt. Remember what comes around goes around. Eventually even the bulldozer will reap what they sow.”

If you are the offended party, consider passing over the transgression and showing some mercy. Blessed are the merciful, because when you too need some mercy, you will have paved the way for forgiveness to receive it.

Now all of your bulldozers and bulldozees out there, try to be a bit more self-aware and forgiving before somebody gets hurt!

www.PaulFDavis.com – worldwide speaker and author of Healthy Relationships

Invite Paul to speak in your city and rock the house!

RevivingNations@yahoo.com