Category Archives: healthy relationships

Healthy Relationships: Dealing with Control Freaks

Let’s face it, not all relationships are healthy. Some relationships are unavoidable professionally, whereas others with family can be navigated through more deliberately.

If you have a control freak in your life, here are some quick secrets for keeping your sanity and breaking the control freak’s stranglehold on you.

1. Be calm and don’t react.

The control freak usually thrives on tension, drama, and creating urgent scenarios to throw you in a state of emotional chaos. This is where they get the upper hand and make themself needed.

Be calm, quiet, and don’t react. Listen and move slowly on purpose…as you do you may further aggravate the control freak. Good! What is in their heart will eventually come out of their mouth, revealing their true motivation and intent.

2. Listen to the words not the emotion.

When you hear a control freak speak, listen to their words not their emotion. Gauge the intelligence and validity of what they are saying. If there is no credibility or validity behind what they are saying, drop it and move on. Often control freaks are illogical and given to panic. They live in a world of fear, suspicion and accusation.

Control freaks feed on drama. Don’t play into it. Listen to their words and locate where they are (or perceive themselves to be). Many control freaks (perhaps most) are painfully clueless and not self-aware.

Be aware of who you are dealing with.

3. Intelligently say no and walk away.

When control freaks true colors are revealed and you see their drama for what it is, drop the game(s) on the spot and move on. If the control freak cannot recognize the error of their ways, move on without explaining to them why you are abandoning them.

People are either assets or liabilities. Until a control freak discovers the error of their ways, they shall continue to irritate and alienate people. Guard your heart and don’t feel bad for protecting your time and life. Don’t let control freaks waste your time and divert your focus.

www.PaulFDavis.com worldwide speaker and author of Healthy Relationships

Invite Paul to speak in your city! RevivingNations@yahoo.com

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Filed under breaking controlling powers, control freaks, control freaks get a wake up call, dealing with control freaks, dealing with difficult people, healthy relationships, mastering emotions, moving through tough situations

Healthy Relationships: Black Sheep of the Family

Being the black sheep of the family (even when you’re white – LOL) is never easy. For a season of my adult life when I was going through growing pains I was deemed a religious fanatic when I “found God” and started reading my Bible. Later in life I dropped the infamous distinction and regained my status.

Yet in various circles (professionally and socially) sometimes we get branded badly by those we choose not to conform to. Nevertheless we can keep a positive attitude and pure heart through it all. The truth always outlives a lie and integrity never fails.

Keep your head up, love unconditionally, and be merciful toward your judgmental critics.  You never know, if you win them over, they could just become your greatest supporters one day!

www.PaulFDavis.com – worldwide speaker and author of Healthy Relationships and Empowering & Liberating Women

Invite Paul to speak in your city!

RevivingNations@yahoo.com

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Filed under black sheep, black sheep of the family, difficult family members, family, family drama, family problems, happy family, healthy relationships, judgmental critics, judgmental family members, navigating through family drama, sustaining healthy relationships, toxic people, unhappy family, unhealthy relationships

Healthy Relationships – Don’t Be a Bulldozer

Have you ever met a bulldozer? I mean a domineering personality type who tried to get their way and bulldoze you over? Have you ever been a bulldozer to somebody else? I’m sure if you are like me, you can answer yes to both of those questions.

Remember how it feels to be bulldozed over by another person. You feel a bit violated, disrespected, ignored, and dehumanized. It is not a very nice feeling, nor does it endear you to the person (the rough bulldozer kind of individual).

Yet think back to the times you have been a bulldozer. Perhaps you were ploughing ahead trying to meet a deadline, to pay the bills, to pick up the kids from school, to get to a social function (or church) when you were running late, or to try to get to work on time. The possibilities are endless.

Therefore the next time somebody bulldozes over you, gently mention it and call them on it. Say, “Hey, do you realize what a bulldozer you are being? You might want to rethink your approach to life before somebody gets hurt. Remember what comes around goes around. Eventually even the bulldozer will reap what they sow.”

If you are the offended party, consider passing over the transgression and showing some mercy. Blessed are the merciful, because when you too need some mercy, you will have paved the way for forgiveness to receive it.

Now all of your bulldozers and bulldozees out there, try to be a bit more self-aware and forgiving before somebody gets hurt!

www.PaulFDavis.com – worldwide speaker and author of Healthy Relationships

Invite Paul to speak in your city and rock the house!

RevivingNations@yahoo.com

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Filed under bulldozer coming through, conflict resolution, dealing with difficult people, difficult people, feeling a bit violated?, healthy relationships, irritated people, troublesome folks, type As all the way, type As approaching - get out of the way!, type As coming through

Healthy Relationships: Challenges, Difficulties & Struggles

Relationships come with many nuances
Healthy relationships too have struggles
Healthy relationships have challenges
Healthy relationships have difficulties
Therefore don’t give up so fast and easily.

Invite worldwide speaker and life-changing author Paul F. Davis to speak to your college students about success secrets for healthy relationships! Pauls’ book Healthy Relationships is a favorite.
RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-967-7553

These subtle distinct emotional variations
Sometimes expressed sharply and extremely
Can be overwhelming and exhausting entirely
Nevertheless as you patiently stay the course
Love unconditionally and listen wholeheartedly
You need not explode, erupt, or think to divorce
Because the bark is often worse than the bite
Therefore don’t be alarmed when you seem to fight
When intense relational interactions fool and weary you
Feeling lonely, confused, and not knowing what to do?
Don’t be dismayed, simply trust me to walk you through
I certainly understand as I have endured such feelings too
Felt like quitting, biting back, devouring, disconnecting
However somehow with resurrection power all was healed
Not because I intelligently did or said something specifically
On the contrary, I remained quiet and it happened supernaturally
Therefore know you don’t always need to fight your own battles
Because God above, the Lord of love, will undertake for you
He will both gently Father and mightily see you through
His Spirit within will tenderly nudge and sweetly woo
Your heart with skill and divine art, inwardly awaking you
To trust, yield, and remain playing on your own field
Because love at first sight is illusory until it meets life
After which when the two are combined, reason and rhyme
Leave the equation altogether and life gets all the crazier
Nevertheless life tests your love to see if it will endure
To see if it runs deep, possesses strength, and is sure
Because often feelings fade and you must open the door
The door of faith to envision and see the magnificent future
But if you choose to quit because you and your love collide
How then shall your life and love with it carry dignity and pride?
Therefore purpose everyday to not let your ego get in the way
Beyond the challenges, rejoice in your relational blessings today!
Whether someone seems mad as hell or sweet as heaven
Give thanks sincerely for relational emotional expression.

Invite worldwide speaker and life-changing author Paul F. Davis to speak to your college students about success secrets for healthy relationships! Pauls’ book Healthy Relationships is a favorite.
RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-967-7553

Paul is a frequently requested speaker for college student success, leadership and orientations.

Paul’s 17 life-changing books have landed him celebrity guest appearances on Fox News Radio, Investor’s Business Daily, and 3 times on Oprah & Friends.

After a 45 minute interview on Playboy Radio, Afternoon Advice host Tiffany Granath calls Paul an awesome relational coach and recommends his books on love, dating, and sexuality.

Paul’s academic success & leadership secrets for college students are unparalleled and greatly empowering. Paul has a history of relational success, building bridges cross-culturally, cultivating diversity awareness, while empowering college students to discover their destiny and live their dreams.

A master in NLP & life coaching; Paul’s humorous, fun, playful and transformative messages graciously challenge college students to ask themselves hard questions and be their personal best.

As a former high-school senior class teacher, Paul understands the challenges facing incoming college students. Moreover Paul personally knows what transfer students go through as he himself attended a community college where he graduated with a 3.8 GPA before entering UCF, where he graduated Cum Laude. As a worldwide professional speaker Paul has touched more than 50 countries and 6 continents, greatly inspiring international students throughout the world.

Paul worked at Ground Zero in NYC during 9/11; helped rebuild a home at the tsunami epicenter; comforted victims of genocide in Rwanda; spoke to leaders in East Timor during the war; inspired students & monks in Myanmar; promoted peace & reconciliation in Pakistan; and has been deep into rural Africa where villagers had never before seen a white man.

Paul empowers people to love passionately, work together globally, and live their dreams fearlessly.

http:///www.PaulFDavis.com

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Filed under challenges, difficulties, healthy relationships, struggles

Healthy Relationship Secrets: College Student Success Secrets to be Healthy & Whole

Healthy relationships secrets to help you be healthy and whole. Never fear losing a relationship. Respect yourself and never hold on to a relationship too tight. Be passionate, but don’t allow yourself to be pimped and emotionally manipulated. A healthy relationship starts with a healthy level of self respect, which you must have for yourself. Whenever self respect is diminished or lost, you relationship is no longer healthy.

Invite worldwide speaker and life-changing author Paul F. Davis to speak to your college students about healthy relationships success secrets, breakthrough leadership, overcoming adversity & academic success!
RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-967-7553

As a counselor and minister who hears countless relationships stories and helps people sort through their relationship challenges, it never ceases to amaze me how quickly people compromise their soul and lose a healthy level of self respect within a relationship.

Self respect is the most vital component within a healthy relationship, without which any relationship (be it personal or professional) will rapidly erode. Whenever you allow yourself to be cheapened and your personhood lessened so as to maintain a relationship with somebody you love, you simultaneously lessen your love for yourself. Without a healthy and proper amount of self love, you quickly can become a doormat and begin to tolerate unnecessary abuse within relationships.

Relational abuse and being taken for granted within a relationship subtly occurs when you lower your standards and stop standing up for yourself. When you quietly tolerate poor behavior and allow people to talk down to you, indirectly (often unbeknownst to yourself) you send a message loud and clear saying that such abuse is alright.

Early on in most relationships a healthy level of respect is the foundational cornerstone, without which there would be no progression, trust, and embracing of one another. In the business world, once trust and a likeness of vision is established, many begin to move in the same direction. When subordination and dehumanization begins to subtly occur however, that is the time to quickly and powerfully address such a character dwarfing tendency, lest it occur more frequently and begin to consistently devalue you as a person.

Unfortunately many find themselves in such unhealthy relationships, but acquiesce for a time because they are not secure in their own identity and fear losing what relationship they have (even though deep down they know it is not healthy and quite frankly bad).

It pains me to see such relationships wherein someone (usually the woman, but not always) is being violated and taken advantage of. The action step that immediately needs to occur to turn the tide is to begin again to respect and stand up for yourself.

Refuse to tolerate being talked down to and disrespected.

As you do, you will reframe the perimeters and expectations within your relationship. By doing so, transformation and a relational restructuring may very well occur as hearts and minds are properly brought back in check and self respect is restored.

If such confrontation does not produce a relational correction, know assuredly it may be time to move on. Guard your heart and life before you find yourself being further dominated and brought under endless strife (both internal and relational).

Love and respect yourself even if nobody else does. Remember you will attract what you are.

Therefore teach people how to respect you and let everyone know what you expect. Truly you can have more in relationships if you refuse to settle for anything less.

Invite worldwide speaker and life-changing author Paul F. Davis to speak to your college students about healthy relationships success secrets, breakthrough leadership, overcoming adversity & academic success!
RevivingNations@yahoo.com
407-967-7553

Paul is an exceptional and frequently requested speaker for college student success, leadership, orientations, and to kickoff college events.

Paul’s 17 life-changing books have landed him celebrity guest appearances on Fox News Radio, Investor’s Business Daily, and 3 times on Oprah & Friends.

After a 45 minute interview on Playboy Radio, Afternoon Advice host Tiffany Granath calls Paul an awesome relational coach and recommends his books on love, dating, and sexuality.

Paul’s academic success & leadership secrets for college students are unparalleled and greatly empowering. Paul has a history of overcoming adversity, building bridges cross-culturally, cultivating diversity awareness, while empowering college students to discover their destiny and live their dreams.

A master in NLP & life coaching; Paul’s humorous, fun, playful and transformative messages graciously challenge college students to ask themselves hard questions and be their personal best.

As a former high-school senior class teacher, Paul understands the challenges facing incoming college students. Moreover Paul personally knows what transfer students go through as he himself attended a community college where he graduated with a 3.8 GPA before entering UCF, where he graduated Cum Laude. As a worldwide professional speaker Paul has touched more than 50 countries and 6 continents, greatly inspiring international students throughout the world.

Paul worked at Ground Zero in NYC during 9/11; helped rebuild a home at the tsunami epicenter; comforted victims of genocide in Rwanda; spoke to leaders in East Timor during the war; inspired students & monks in Myanmar; promoted peace & reconciliation in Pakistan; and has been deep into rural Africa where villagers had never before seen a white man.

Paul empowers people to love passionately, work together globally, and live their dreams fearlessly.

http:///www.PaulFDavis.com

Leave a comment

Filed under academic success, academic success secrets, college sororities, college student retention, college student success, college student success secrets, college student success secrets. college student transition, college student transition, college students, college students overcoming adversity, college students success secrets, college success, college tips, healthy relationships, respect, respect yourself, self-respect