Friends sometimes say mean or humiliating things because often unbeknownst to them they project on to others how they feel about themselves. Other motivations causing such verbalization of cruelty is the reality that you cannot be their all in all and fill their bottomless emotional pit.
People often look for someone relationally to fill them only to later discover after the initial infatuation and illusion wears off that everybody possesses some humanity. Many have not yet learned that happiness is an inside job and therefore put unrealistic expectations on people to fulfill them. When their expectations aren’t met, they explode and become cruel and hateful.
Paul F Davis – Love Coach and author of Are You Ready For True Love?